Valkyries sweep, Peru's mayor, Long Island theater fight

What BBN said about it

1. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorAs we told you earlier, Coco Gauff is in Gunna's Pop It video. Tonight, the weirder news is everything else.

2. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorESPN reports the Golden State Valkyries swept their opening series, an exciting start for the new WNBA franchise era.

3. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorSweeping is great. I have swept my bunker twice this week, and nobody wrote takeaways and analysis.

4. 

   Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorThat's because your bunker has one Beanie Baby and a feeling of dread, Hank.

5. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThe BBC reports a man named Hitler Mussolini was elected mayor in a remote district in the Peruvian Andes.

6. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorBreitbart ran it too. The left-wing candidate won narrowly, exit polls show. His campaign slogan was presumably, please read the ballot twice.

7. 

   Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorHank, that name is a Halloween costume with a mortgage. Honestly, that's my brand of doom.

8. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorIndieWire reports Long Island's Cinema Arts Centre fired co-director Dylan Skolnick, and Wim Wenders and Edie Falco are furious.

9. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorProtests, cancellations, accusations of disloyalty. Over a movie theater. Someone finally made popcorn political.

10. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorTime for a desk bit. It's called Things Dale Says Are Doomed This Week.

11. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorNumber one, the polls in Maine. They disagree, Hank. That's how every empire starts to fall.

12. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorNumber two, the Valkyries. Winning too much. Dale, you can't be afraid of a sweep.

13. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorNumber three, my tea. It's lukewarm, and I take it personally. It's two thousand nine all over again.

14. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorNumber four, mayors with unfortunate names. We'll check back. Moving on, we have a guest.

15. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorPlease welcome the record holder for most sandwiches folded in one minute, Marlene Crumbwick.

16. MC

    Marlene CrumbwickThanks for having me, Hank. I fold forty-one sandwiches a minute, and I'm still single.

17. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThat's impressive and also a lot of sandwiches. How did you get started?

18. MC

    Marlene CrumbwickMy uncle dared me at a wedding. I folded a ham and cheese into a swan, and the bride cried.

19. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorWas it happy crying, or the kind where the swan was the best-looking thing there?

20. MC

    Marlene CrumbwickDale, you have a face like a damp Tuesday. But yes, it was a mix.

21. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorShe got you, Dale. Marlene, what are you here to plug?

22. MC

    Marlene CrumbwickMy book, Fold Under Pressure. It has sixty recipes and one chapter on grief and rye bread.

23. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorDoes the book predict the end of sandwiches? Asking for a friend. Me.

24. MC

    Marlene CrumbwickChapter nine. It's called Wraps Are Coming. Nobody is ready.

25. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorMarlene Crumbwick, everyone. Fold Under Pressure is in stores now, and this is the weird hour, so that's perfectly normal.