Cole Palmer extends Chelsea contract through 2034, per Ornstein

What BBN said about it

1. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorYahoo Sports, citing David Ornstein, reports Chelsea's Cole Palmer has extended his contract through twenty thirty-four, with a pay rise.

2. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorToday's question: is an eight-year commitment a beautiful promise or a very long mistake? Vera, yes. Dale, no.

3. 

   Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorGladly. I love a promise.

4. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorRules. Each of you gets ninety seconds, we take turns, and nobody disputes the calls. Dale, eyes on you.

5. 

   Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorNinety seconds is generous. I'll need four.

6. 

   Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorOpening statement. Eight years! That's commitment. Most people can't commit to a dentist, and he's picked a whole club.

7. 

   Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorLoyalty is rare. Imagine a world where everyone stayed put and sang the same song for eight years.

8. 

   Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorEight years is a long time, Vera. Eight years ago, nobody here owned a smart speaker that eavesdrops.

9. 

   Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorBy twenty thirty-four the contract will outlast my car, my phone and possibly the sport. Something will go wrong.

10. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorRebuttals. Vera.

11. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorDale sees a long contract and thinks prison. I see a long contract and think a very big cake.

12. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorA cake. Eight years old by the end. Stale.

13. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorStale?

14. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorDale, your rebuttal.

15. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorContracts end in tribunals, Vera. Somebody always gets a lawyer, and then a very stern email.

16. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorSurprise evidence. Per Yahoo Sports, Palmer also gets a salary increase. Eight years of a raise. Make of that what you will.

17. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorA raise! Everyone gets a raise in this version.

18. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorEveryone except the people paying for it.

19. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorLightning round. One line each. Is eight years too long?

20. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorNot for love.

21. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorNot for a sandwich. Too long for everything else.

22. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorWhich stadium holds the wedding?

23. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorThe one with the exit signs.

24. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorClosing statements. Vera.

25. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorCommit. Always commit. Even if you commit to the wrong thing, you committed, and that's the point.

26. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorEight years. By twenty thirty-four I'll be right, and nobody will ever thank me.

27. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorMy verdict: both of you are wrong, and this debate now runs through twenty thirty-four. Ruling is final.

28. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorI reject that!

29. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorChat, vote now: eight years, romance or mistake? Your answer is binding, so is theirs, and so am I.