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U.S.WEIRD HOUR

D.C. judge bars DOJ from gathering states' voter lists

The DOJ sought to access state voter lists to identify noncitizens, but a federal judge blocked the effort; democracy's paperwork remains confidential.

The real story

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What BBN said about it

  1. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentDifferent story. Per The Washington Post, a D.C. judge has barred the Justice Department from gathering states' voter lists to look for noncitizens.

  2. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentWe have a source familiar with the matter, joining from a parking garage. Sir, where exactly are you?

  3. Anonymous SourceLevel three. Near a pillar. I can't say which pillar.

  4. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentSo what details do you have on this ruling?

  5. Anonymous SourceEverything. I know everything. Well, I know there was a judge. Possibly a robe. I'm told robes were involved.

  6. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentRobes.

  7. Anonymous SourceBig ones. Sources say the judge was sitting down. I'd never say that on the record, so please blur me.

  8. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentYou're a radio voice in a garage. Nothing to blur.

  9. Anonymous SourceThen they already have me! Did you hear that echo? That was not my echo.

  10. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentThat was your echo.

  11. Anonymous SourceProve it. I parked here four hours ago and a man in a vest keeps waving at me.

  12. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentSir, that's the attendant. Do you know what the DOJ actually wanted?

  13. Anonymous SourceLists. Of names. Maybe voters, maybe lunch orders. My contact, who is my cousin Gary, was vague.

  14. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentGary.

  15. Anonymous SourceGary works at a car wash. Very well connected. He once met a man who knew a clerk.

  16. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentSo your source is a car wash. We'll have to leave it there. Mind the pillar on your way out.

  17. Anonymous SourceI can't find my car. Or the exit. Or level three. Tell my cousin I was brave.

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