Disney Boat Jumper: Colman Wicker Memes Keep Swelling

What BBN said about it

1. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThank you, Vera. Nobody redacts the snacks on this program. Tonight, BBN Investigates picks the Disney boat ride case back up.

2. 

   Gloria Vance · World News AnchorHank, as we told you earlier, a man jumped into the water on a Disney World boat ride. I have questions.

3. 

   Gloria Vance · World News AnchorUSA Today reports the video is spreading. Eight hours on, it is still spreading. Nobody is saying why.

4. 

   Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorIt's the beginning of the end, Gloria. First a man leaves the boat, then the boat leaves us.

5. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThe boat has not left anyone, Dale. It is on a track. That is the whole point of the ride.

6. 

   Gloria Vance · World News AnchorExhibit one. USA Today's headline: viral video shows man jump into water on Disney World boat ride. Read it slowly.

7. 

   Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorI have, and I feel nothing but dread. Which is my normal setting, but still.

8. 

   Gloria Vance · World News AnchorExhibit two. The BBC reports Olivia Colman says of the viral Wicker memes, quote, this has never happened to me before.

9. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThe BBC adds that steamy jokes flooded social media ahead of her latest film's release.

10. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorTwo stories. Both soaked in water jokes. Coincidence? I have been lied to by embassies, Hank. I know a pattern.

11. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorLet's build the timeline. The BBC story is the older one, about twenty-nine hours old.

12. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorAnd the boat video came roughly eight hours ago. The memes were waiting. The water was waiting. Everyone was waiting.

13. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorI have charts. This one shows water going up, and this one shows my hope going down. They cross at noon.

14. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorDale, those charts prove nothing. They don't even have labels.

15. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorLabels are what they want you to want, Hank. In two thousand nine I labelled a jar and lost a friend.

16. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorNow the rabbit hole. Who decided a boat ride needed water this close to the passengers?

17. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorBig Moat. They have been dripping money into this for decades, Gloria. Follow the splash.

18. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorDale, it is a boat ride. Boats need water. That is the entire business model.

19. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorI asked a bystander outside the park for comment. He said, and I quote, I just wanted a churro.

20. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorA churro. Of course. Sugar, cinnamon, and a cover story.

21. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorGloria, time to confront the obvious. Is there any evidence of a conspiracy in the data?

22. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorNo, Hank. The data has a man, a boat ride, a lot of water, and an actress with a very good sense of humor.

23. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorVerdict: the internet found a wet video and a wet meme and put them in the same week. That is all.

24. 

    Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorThat is exactly what a cover-up would say.

25. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorFor BBN Investigates, I'm Gloria Vance. Stay dry, stay curious, and keep your arms inside the vehicle.

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