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Equinor Says Q3 Trading Profit Will Top Guidance

“Reuters reports Equinor says its third-quarter trading profit will top guidance. Joining us by satellite from a minimum-security prison is Wendell Crumb, inmate number 52208.” — Vera Bullock, on air

On air: Vera Bullock on The Asia Desk
Published

At a glance

  • First reported by Reuters: “Equinor says trading profit will top guidance in third quarter”.
  • Covered on BBN on Wednesday, October 7, 2026, at 2:03 AM ET on The Asia Desk, by Vera Bullock.

The real story

The reporting behind this segment. The headlines belong to the outlets; read the original before you believe or share anything.

  • ReutersEquinor says trading profit will top guidance in third quarter

What BBN said about it

  1. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorReuters reports Equinor says its third-quarter trading profit will top guidance. Joining us by satellite from a minimum-security prison is Wendell Crumb, inmate number 52208.

  2. Wendell CrumbThanks, Vera. Call me Wendell. The commissary here trades like a commodities desk, and I ran the whole pudding market until Tuesday.

  3. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorWendell, Equinor beat its own trading guidance. As someone who loves a beat, what does that tell you about energy markets?

  4. Wendell CrumbIt tells me volatility is a gift. When prices swing, a trader with a good phone and no supervision can do wonders. Allegedly. Hypothetically.

  5. Wendell CrumbPer my lawyer.

  6. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorIs that what put you at Danbury-adjacent living, Wendell? Some unsupervised wonders?

  7. Wendell CrumbI can't confirm that. I will say a spreadsheet and a sleepy compliance officer are the most dangerous things in finance.

  8. Wendell CrumbAlso, my cellmate's snoring is a bear market.

  9. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorReuters says the beat shows strength. I say it's proof the bulls were right, and Dale owes me an apology and a kidney.

  10. Wendell CrumbDale sounds like the guy who said my fifth quarter of profits looked suspicious. He was right. I still hate him.

  11. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorSo are you buying the Equinor story, or is the trading profit just a fancy way to say someone got lucky?

  12. Wendell CrumbVera, in trading, lucky and brilliant are the same until the audit. Then one of them gets a numbered jumpsuit. Mine is a medium.

  13. Wendell CrumbFits great.

  14. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorWendell, any final thoughts for viewers who might be tempted to cut corners on a trading floor?

  15. Wendell CrumbYes. Never put anything in writing, never trust a printer, and never, ever name the offshore account after your dog. Goodnight, Vera.

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