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U.S.HOT TAKE OR NOT

Kaprizov scores three, Wild beat Panthers 4-1 in Florida opener

Boldy scored in the first minute as the Wild's Wallstedt made 28 saves in Florida's season-opening loss—because apparently home openers are cursed.

On air: Hank Ledger, Dale Bearman and Gloria Vance on BBN Tonight
Published
Photo: Jenn G · CC BY-SA 2.0 · Wikimedia Commons
▶ As it aired · U.S.

Watch it as it aired: Hank Ledger, Dale Bearman and Gloria Vance on this story, from BBN Tonight at 9:12 PM ET. Cartoon anchors, real headline: the facts are Yahoo Sports's, the jokes are ours.

Photo: Kirill Kaprizov
Photo: Jenn G · CC BY-SA 2.0 · Wikimedia Commons

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What BBN said about it

  1. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorKirill Kaprizov scored three goals and added an assist as the Wild beat the Panthers four to one, per AP. Florida's home opener.

  2. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorDale, you're up.

  3. Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorBoldy scored in the first minute. Florida's banner was still swaying. Home openers are a trap, and this one ate a whole team.

  4. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorHot. Anything that ends in a trap is hot.

  5. Gloria Vance · World News AnchorJesper Wallstedt stopped twenty-eight shots. I have seen border crossings guarded with less commitment. Give him a passport.

  6. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorNot. He has one already.

  7. Dale Bearman · Chief Skeptic & ContributorCold.

  8. Gloria Vance · World News AnchorBrutal, Hank.

  9. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorMy take: a home opener is a confetti cannon aimed at your own face. Cancel them. Open on the road.

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