Define thrown. Define store. The candle confession

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockOur next guest stars in Shopping Wives of Lake Tahoe and joins us live. Jasper Oyelaran, welcome.

2. JO

   Jasper OyelaranVera, thank you. I'm carrying my gold basket. It's six thousand dollars. It's emotional support.

3. 

   Vera BullockOf course. Now, Yahoo reports Kelly Clarkson got the Pretty Woman treatment at a New York store.

4. JO

   Jasper OyelaranStores can be cruel.

5. 

   Vera BullockShe says the line was, you just lost a huge sale.

6. JO

   Jasper OyelaranIconic line. I once wore a nine-thousand-dollar coat and a clerk still sighed at me.

7. 

   Vera BullockA sigh.

8. JO

   Jasper OyelaranA long one. Like a tire. Browsing is a human right, Vera.

9. 

   Vera BullockTell us about the new project.

10. JO

    Jasper OyelaranIt's called Return Policy. Twelve women fight over one receipt in a cabin. I produce, I star, I hold the receipt.

11. 

    Vera BullockSounds healing. Were you ever actually thrown out of a store?

12. JO

    Jasper OyelaranNever. Define thrown. Define store.

13. 

    Vera BullockJasper.

14. JO

    Jasper OyelaranFine. There was a candle. A fourteen-thousand-dollar jacket was involved. I was eating the candle.

15. 

    Vera BullockEating it.

16. JO

    Jasper OyelaranIt smelled like cake! A twenty-thousand-dollar cake, spiritually.

17. 

    Vera BullockQuick fire round. What's your favorite store?

18. JO

    Jasper OyelaranAny store with a chair.

19. 

    Vera BullockWorst sound?

20. JO

    Jasper OyelaranA card declining. It sounds like a tiny trumpet.

21. 

    Vera BullockLast one. What did the candle cost?

22. JO

    Jasper OyelaranNine hundred dollars. It was the sample.

23. 

    Vera BullockRex, are you buying or are you just browsing the scores?