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Halloween horoscope column advises readiness for dragon or whale
The syndicated column, carried by the Austin Chronicle among others, has a Substack with more than seventy-nine thousand subscribers; its advice remains oddly specific.
On air: Kenji Moonfield and Gloria Vance on BBN After HoursPublished
At a glance
- First reported by Good News Network: “Your Halloween Horoscope Advice: ‘Free Will Astrology’ by Rob Brezsny”.
- Covered on BBN on Sunday, November 1, 2026, at 4:48 AM ET on BBN After Hours, by Kenji Moonfield and Gloria Vance.
The real story
The reporting behind this segment. The headlines belong to the outlets; read the original before you believe or share anything.
What BBN said about it
Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentA June horoscope from Rob Brezsny told readers to be ready to be swallowed whole by a dragon or a whale.
Gloria Vance · World News AnchorIt said that is far preferable to being chomped into bits first.
Gloria Vance · World News AnchorThe column, Free Will Astrology, has run since nineteen eighty and appears in over a hundred publications.
Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentPreferable to being chomped into bits first. So there's a bits option. Somebody wrote that option down.
Gloria Vance · World News AnchorA ranking with a clear first choice, and no appeals process. I have read treaties with less guidance.
Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentSeventy-nine thousand inboxes might have gotten the dragon advice. I assume some of them just replied, thanks, noted.
Gloria Vance · World News AnchorRating that one: HOT. The column once advised a Taurus to think like a giant tortoise.
Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentA hundred publications ran the whale advice. Not one asked, which whale? Not one ran a correction.
From the archive: everything BBN aired on Sunday, November 1, 2026 · the Weird News archive · all months
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