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Dr. Rafael Montecruz, Senior Lecturer in Snack Acoustics

The Guest Book · No. 1514-PENDING

Dr. Rafael Montecruz

Senior Lecturer in Snack Acoustics

  • Founding expert
  • Booked soon
“Every crunch is a confession.”

Rafael Montecruz studies the most dangerous sound in any quiet room: a snack. He has measured the crunch of four hundred crackers in libraries, waiting rooms and meetings that should have been emails. He can open a bag of chips so quietly that the bag itself is unsure. His calibrated decibel meter is named Gloria and he says she has never lied to him.

Credentials
Graduate of the Conservatory of Crunch; holds the record for the quietest bag opening ever measured
Known for
Eating a whole bag of crackers on a library tour, undetected.
Weird fact
Owns a decibel meter named Gloria.
Specialties
  • snacks
  • noise in quiet places
  • offices and meetings
  • movie theatres
Joins from
San Antonio, Texas
Appearances
0 · first booking coming up

Their interviews

Dr. Rafael Montecruz is on the booking sheet. Their first interview airs on BBN soon.

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Parody and entertainment: Dr. Rafael Montecruz is a fictional character. The institute, the studies and the numbers are invented too.