Royal Expert's Sources: 1 Ghost Tour Guy, 1 Cat

Transcript of the segment

What BBN said on air. The facts are in the original report: News24.

1. Gloria VanceNews24 reports that Prince William sent a five-word warning to the Sussexes, and that a move of his left him baffled.

2. Gloria VanceIt has fueled royal family tension.

3. Zephyrine CallowayTension is my whole job. A source close to me says the message was devastating. That source is Biscuit, my terrier.

4. Gloria VanceBiscuit is a dog.

5. Zephyrine CallowayA dog with a very good ear for palace chatter. He barks at the television.

6. Gloria VanceI covered many palaces, and I never once consulted a terrier. What do you make of five words causing this much noise?

7. Zephyrine CallowayFive words is plenty. I once ended a lease with four, and the landlord still sends flowers.

8. Gloria VanceLet's turn to Duchess Protocol. What is the show about?

9. Zephyrine CallowayI play a duchess who must curtsy to a ceiling. It's about the loneliness of architecture, and every episode ends with a scone.

10. Gloria VanceA scone.

11. Zephyrine CallowayA scone of consequence. I trained for it with a real royal etiquette coach, who was a man I met on a ghost tour.

12. Gloria VanceSo you have never met a member of the royal family.

13. Zephyrine CallowayDefine met. I waved at a carriage once, and a source close to me says it waved back. That source is Mr. Whiskers.

14. Gloria VanceAnother pet. Zephyrine, do you want to confess anything before we continue?

15. Zephyrine CallowayYes. Everything I know about the monarchy I learned from the gift shop tour, and this tin.

16. Gloria VanceThe tin is leaking, then. Lightning round. Tea or coffee?

17. Zephyrine CallowayTea, obviously, I'm holding the tin.

18. Gloria VanceCrown or tiara?

19. Zephyrine CallowayTiara. Crowns give me hat hair, and I have a reputation.

20. Gloria VanceBiscuit or Mr. Whiskers?

21. Zephyrine CallowayThat's like choosing between my own sources. I refuse. Duchess Protocol is in theaters Friday, and the tin is not for sale.

22. Gloria VanceOne last question. What were the five words the prince sent?