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Artemis III, Kane's Ballon d'Or, cartwheeling snakes

Four astronauts including Randy Bresnik will spend up to seventeen days testing Moon-landing systems in Earth orbit in summer twenty twenty-seven; the actual landing is on the calendar for twenty twenty-eight.

Photo: Bryan Berlin · CC BY-SA 4.0 · Wikimedia Commons · altered by BBN, shared under CC BY-SA 4.0
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Watch it as it aired: Hank Ledger and Vera Bullock on this story, from BBN This Morning at 7:01 AM ET. Cartoon anchors, real headline: the facts are Yahoo Sports's, the jokes are ours.

Photo: Harry Kane
Photo: Bryan Berlin · CC BY-SA 4.0 · Wikimedia Commons · altered by BBN, shared under CC BY-SA 4.0

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  1. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorNASA's Artemis III will not land on the Moon, but a crew of four will test systems in low Earth orbit for fourteen to seventeen days in summer twenty twenty-seven.

  2. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorSo it's a dress rehearsal for the Moon. I respect a team that practices before the big night.

  3. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThe crew is Randy Bresnik, Luca Parmitano, Andre Douglas and Frank Rubio, and the Moon landing is now set for Artemis IV in twenty twenty-eight.

  4. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorHarry Kane has won the Ballon d'Or, beating Kylian Mbappé and Lamine Yamal in London, and he's the first Englishman to win it in twenty-five years.

  5. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThe award's chief says Mbappé led for most of the voting before Kane surged late, and the gap was smaller than the forty-one points in twenty twenty-four.

  6. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorA late comeback. And an official website listed three winners hours early, so Kane won twice, sort of.

  7. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThree winners. Very efficient.

  8. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorAnd researchers have filmed dwarf reed snakes, none longer than a pencil, flipping onto their sides and rolling away like wheels. All thirteen snakes tested did it.

  9. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorSix related snakes never rolled. They just have to live with that.

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