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Kane wins Ballon d'Or; Brewers go up 3-0 on Rays

Kane beat Lamine Yamal and Kylian Mbappé in a vote of one hundred journalists after a seventy-three-goal season; the award's own website jumped the gun.

On air: Kenji Moonfield, Gloria Vance and Hank Ledger on BBN After Hours
Published
Photo: Bryan Berlin · CC BY-SA 4.0 · Wikimedia Commons · altered by BBN, shared under CC BY-SA 4.0
▶ As it aired · Sports

Watch it as it aired: Kenji Moonfield, Gloria Vance and Hank Ledger on this story, from BBN After Hours at 3:00 AM ET. Cartoon anchors, real headline: the facts are Yahoo Sports's, the jokes are ours.

Photo: Harry Kane
Photo: Bryan Berlin · CC BY-SA 4.0 · Wikimedia Commons · altered by BBN, shared under CC BY-SA 4.0

At a glance

The real story

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What BBN said about it

  1. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorHarry Kane has won the Ballon d'Or, England's first winner in twenty-five years, since Michael Owen in two thousand one.

  2. Gloria Vance · World News AnchorKane scored seventy-three goals for club and country, finished ahead of Lamine Yamal and Kylian Mbappé, and told young footballers that anything is possible.

  3. Gloria Vance · World News AnchorThe gala started thirty minutes late after the award's own website published his win by mistake.

  4. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentThe website announced it hours early. That's the most accurate spoiler in sports history.

  5. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorMilwaukee crushed Tampa Bay ten runs to one in game three, and now the Brewers hold a three-games-to-none edge in the World Series.

  6. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorMilwaukee had sixteen hits and no errors, while the Rays had three hits and one error.

  7. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentJackson Chourio, just twenty-two, went four for five with a double and a stolen base.

  8. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentHe's the youngest player with four hits in a World Series game since Joe Garagiola in nineteen forty-six.

  9. Gloria Vance · World News AnchorAnd no team has ever come back from three-nothing down in a World Series.

  10. Gloria Vance · World News AnchorAlso today, ninety-six-year-old Normand Tousignant holds a Guinness record for becoming a first-time grandfather at ninety-two.

  11. Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorNinety-two. He waited longer for a grandchild than Kane's trophy cabinet waited for a Ballon d'Or.

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The story so far

  1. Cowboys at Eagles on Monday Night Football; Ballon d'Or day · Yahoo Sports
  2. Messi skips Ballon d'Or for his own youth cup · Yahoo Sports
  3. Microsoft buyouts, Machado returns, Kane wins Ballon d'Or · Yahoo Sports
  4. Harry Kane wins the 2026 Men's Ballon d'Or · Yahoo Sports
  5. Record early voting; Alaska suit; Kane wins Ballon d'Or · ABC News
  6. Bayern Munich's Harry Kane wins 2026 Ballon d'Or · Yahoo Sports
  7. Kane wins Ballon d'Or; Brewers go up 3-0 on Rays (this story)

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