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U.S.WEIRD HOUR

Feds probing suspicious letters to election officials, lawmakers

Federal investigators are examining letters containing unknown substances sent to state election officials and congressional offices; the mail, as usual, remains the suspect.

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  1. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentFederal investigators are looking into suspicious letters with unknown substances, mailed to state election officials and congressional offices.

  2. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentWith us from a yacht is publicist Désirée Whitlock-Nwosu.

  3. Désirée Whitlock-NwosuKenji, thank you. Look, whoever sent these has a messaging problem, and I see a real opportunity for narrative rehabilitation here.

  4. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentA comeback. Investigators are testing mail that went to election officials. Nobody is comebacking anything.

  5. Désirée Whitlock-NwosuHypothetically, if I represented the sender, I would call the unknown substance an unannounced product launch. People love a mystery drop.

  6. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentIt's powder in an envelope sent to people who count ballots. That's the opposite of a drop.

  7. Désirée Whitlock-NwosuAnd that's the branding gap. The packaging says nothing, the postage says nothing, and there's no return address. I'd fix all three before the holidays.

  8. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentNo return address.

  9. Désirée Whitlock-NwosuWhich, hypothetically, I'd bill as a full rebrand. I already sent the invoice, hypothetically, with the Closer attached for emphasis.

  10. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentYou invoiced already? The federal investigation started tonight, and you've got paperwork.

  11. Désirée Whitlock-NwosuHypothetically, I invoice early. Speed is the whole business. Our firm turned around a scandal once before the scandal happened.

  12. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentSo who's paying you, exactly? Answer the question.

  13. Désirée Whitlock-NwosuKenji, hypothetically the check is already in the mail. Please say it's a good thing it's already in the mail.

  14. Kenji Moonfield · Internet & Trends CorrespondentThat's the one sentence nobody should say this week. Rex, I need your sport to explain what that was.

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