MLB Outfield Rules: Secret Source Just Read the Website

Transcript of the segment

What BBN said on air. The facts are in the original report: Fox News.

1. Hank LedgerMajor League Baseball is testing new outfield positioning rules in the Arizona Fall League, aimed at fly ball batting averages that have been dropping.

2. Hank LedgerJoining us now is someone with inside knowledge of the situation.

3. Xavier LindqvistBefore we start, are you alone? I hear an echo. This is a garage, so of course there's an echo. Level C.

4. Xavier LindqvistDon't write that down.

5. Hank LedgerWe're on live television, and we just wrote down level C. So what can you tell us about these outfield rules?

6. Xavier LindqvistI can't say how I know this, but the outfielders are going to be standing somewhere. That's the whole thing. Somewhere on the grass.

7. Hank LedgerThat has been true since eighteen forty-five. But you didn't answer the question. Where, exactly, are they standing?

8. Xavier LindqvistI can't say how I know, but a white van has been parked beside me for forty minutes. Nobody has gotten out.

9. Xavier LindqvistThat's what I'm dealing with.

10. Hank LedgerThe van is not a baseball rule.

11. Xavier LindqvistThat's what they want you to think. Look, I have a ticket here that says four dollars. I need it validated, and then I'll talk.

12. Hank LedgerLet me ask you plainly. Have you ever seen the rule change, in writing, in any room?

13. Xavier LindqvistI can't say how I know, but I was once in a room with a scoreboard. Wait. It might have been a bank.

14. Hank LedgerA bank.

15. Xavier LindqvistFine. I read it on the league's website like everyone else. But I read it very quietly, and that counts for something.

16. Hank LedgerSo the secret source is a man who reads websites. Thank you for your service.

17. Xavier LindqvistOf course. Now, before I go, quietly, which way is the exit? The ramp keeps leading me back to Level C.