BBNBonkers Broadcasting NetworkWednesday, October 14, 2026Wed, Oct 14Watch live

Transcript of the segment

What BBN said on air. The facts are in the original report: TheBlaze.

  1. Vera BullockShane Gillis hosted Saturday Night Live, and his opening monologue has pulled more than two point seven million views on YouTube, second among monologues posted since November twenty twenty-five.

  2. Vera BullockJoining us from a minimum-security prison is Barnaby Szymanski, inmate forty-oh-four-one-seven, comedy consultant. So, Barnaby, why are people who say they hate him still watching?

  3. Barnaby SzymanskiVera, hate is the best ad money can't buy.

  4. Barnaby SzymanskiHypothetically, from a stage I never took, I once made a whole room furious, and they carried the whole sound system out to tell their friends.

  5. Vera BullockCarried the sound system out?

  6. Barnaby SzymanskiOut the side door, into a van.

  7. Barnaby SzymanskiThat was a figure of speech, and the van was also a figure of speech. Anyway, critics are the unpaid promotion team, and they never ask for a raise.

  8. Vera BullockSo you're saying every angry post about this monologue is basically a free billboard for it.

  9. Barnaby SzymanskiA billboard on the interstate.

  10. Barnaby SzymanskiAnd if that's true, I should be famous, because I have more enemies than a cat in a dog park. I squeeze this microphone cover every night and picture the crowd.

  11. Vera BullockAnd where did you get that microphone cover, Barnaby? I'm asking the same question again, because you skipped it.

  12. Barnaby SzymanskiHypothetically, from a stage I never took, it was in a drawer, and I was holding it for a friend, who is a comedy club in Scranton, and who has not called.

  13. Vera BullockA club in Scranton hasn't called.

  14. Barnaby SzymanskiNot once, Vera. Look, I'm just a fan. A judge heard my act and gave me eighteen months, which I consider a very favorable review.

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