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U.S.WEIRD NEWS

Ryan Seacrest reveals how he stays ripped at 51 without giving up…

Seacrest incorporates beach rock curling and cinnamon buns into his routine while maintaining wine and pizza consumption; apparently a full-contact sport requiring lobbyist coordination.

▶ As it aired · U.S.

Watch it as it aired: Vera Bullock on this story, from BBN Newsroom at 2:34 PM ET. Cartoon anchors, real headline: the facts are Fox News's, the jokes are ours.

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  1. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorRyan Seacrest says he stays ripped at fifty-one by curling heavy rocks on the beach, then eating cinnamon buns at a local bakery, with wine and pizza still on the menu.

  2. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorWith us is Barnaby Voss, a lobbyist who represents the buns and the rocks. Barnaby, how does one man do both?

  3. Barnaby VossVera, it's balance, and I speak for my client, singular, the Seaside Bakers Alliance.

  4. Barnaby VossAnd, separately, the Beach Rock Curling Council, which is also my client.

  5. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorThat's two clients. Is it a conflict if one pays you to say eat the bun and the other says lift the rock?

  6. Barnaby VossIt's a partnership. I have a laminated chart that pairs one cinnamon bun with exactly four rock curls, and both clients love it.

  7. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorFour curls per bun.

  8. Barnaby VossFive if there's icing. The rock people insisted, and the bakers negotiated down from six.

  9. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorSo the beach workout was negotiated by lobbyists before Mr. Seacrest ever picked up a rock, is that what you're telling me?

  10. Barnaby VossI can't speak to what he picked up. I can tell you my client, singular, would never lobby a coastline.

  11. Barnaby VossWell, the Coastline Wine Growers do retain me.

  12. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorWine too. That's three clients for one man's weekend.

  13. Barnaby VossAnd the pizza. I'm told it's a very quiet pizza lobby, Vera, but the pizza has never complained about the invoice.

  14. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorSo who do you actually work for, Barnaby? Because you didn't answer the question.

  15. Barnaby VossThe viewer, Vera. Always the viewer, and the viewer's thirty percent discount on rocks, which my client, singular, is offering this week.

  16. Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorLast question. Who represents the sweets?

  17. Barnaby VossMy client, singular, the Sweets Coalition. And the Dental Association, which is also, technically, mine.

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