What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Hank LedgerThe Justice Department wants Alaska to separate every ballot that ranks Senate candidate Dan J.
Hank LedgerSullivan, and the top federal prosecutor there won't say what crime he's investigating.
Hank LedgerWith us is Thaddeus Okonkwo-Reyes, a certified intention coach, joining from a wellness retreat he won't name. Thaddeus, is this a legal problem or not?
TO
Thaddeus Okonkwo-ReyesNo, and for clarity, it's a manifestation issue. Two men named Dan Sullivan means somebody set an intention and never specified which Dan.
TO
Thaddeus Okonkwo-ReyesI keep a jar of sand here from the beach where I decided to be calm.
Hank LedgerThe state says its ballots are already kept for twenty-two months. So nobody has to manifest anything.
TO
Thaddeus Okonkwo-ReyesTwenty-two months is a lot of holding on, Hank. For clarity, I'd release them at twenty-one and a half.
Hank LedgerBut Alaska also says the votes are comingled in the ballot box on Election Day, so separating them would break ballot secrecy.
Thaddeus Okonkwo-ReyesYes. Energetically, they were never mixed. For clarity, I sorted my sock drawer by feelings last Tuesday, and the left socks were furious.
Hank LedgerThe Justice Department has issued at least three dozen subpoenas and preservation requests, including to both campaigns. Is that the universe asking follow-up questions?
TO
Thaddeus Okonkwo-ReyesFor clarity, yes, and I'd answer them with a deep breath and a smoothie. The prosecutor says he's not assuming a crime.
TO
Thaddeus Okonkwo-ReyesThat's the healthiest sentence in this whole case.
Hank LedgerHe wants a ruling before Monday. That's not a breathing exercise.
