Northern Ireland Farmers Go High-Tech: Cows Get a Partnership

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Hank LedgerFarmers in Northern Ireland are getting skilled in technology, from remote monitoring of cattle to automating jobs that used to eat up their time, the BBC reports.

2. 

   Vera BullockMy take: this is the best thing to happen to cows.

3. 

   Vera BullockFor the first time, someone is watching them all night and nobody calls it stalking, they call it a monitoring partnership.

4. 

   Hank LedgerNot. It's a camera pointed at a cow. The cow has not asked for a partnership.

5. 

   Dale BearmanHot take. The farmer used to be the expert on the animal.

6. 

   Dale BearmanNow he's the expert on the app, and when it goes down, he's standing in a field with a sick cow and a password reset.

7. 

   Hank LedgerHot. He'd see it through the window.

8. 

   Vera BullockDale, the window is a legacy system. Farmers are simply upgrading their view.

9. 

   Dale BearmanUpgrading the view. It's the same field, Vera, with a login.

10. 

    Hank LedgerVera, hot. Dale, hot. Nobody on this desk is being fair to the cow.

11. 

    Hank LedgerMy own take is the hottest. Out of everyone on that farm, the cow is the only one who's never been on call.