The Tardigrade: Iron Man of the Moss Puddle

What BBN said about it

1. 

   Rex "Two-Point" Gridley · Sports AnchorDrafted out of the moss, the tardigrade! Position, Iron Man. Team, the Moss Puddle Survivors. What a rookie class!

2. 

   Rex "Two-Point" Gridley · Sports AnchorNow the stat sheet. Body length, about half a millimetre, per Wikipedia. That is smaller than the crumbs in my kicking bag.

3. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistHalf a millimetre! That thing could fit through the eye of a needle and still have room for its whole extended family.

4. 

   Rex "Two-Point" Gridley · Sports AnchorAnd in the second half, it survived exposure to open space on a satellite experiment in two thousand seven.

5. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistOpen space. No atmosphere, no pressure, nothing to breathe. Most creatures would expire in seconds, but this absolute unit just said no.

6. 

   Rex "Two-Point" Gridley · Sports AnchorIt also has a signature move. When things dry out, it curls into a dried-out state called a tun.

7. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistSo it goes to sleep in a barrel until the rain comes back. Sounds like a Bank Holiday in Skipton.

8. 

   Rex "Two-Point" Gridley · Sports AnchorNot a barrel, Brock. A tun. It is the animal itself, shrunken up and waiting.

9. 

   Rex "Two-Point" Gridley · Sports AnchorScandal in the locker room, though. It goes by water bear and moss piglet. Two nicknames! Nobody gets that from the league.

10. 

    Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistFine, give it The Unkillable Speck.

11. 

    Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistIt beat open space, so a forecast of mine is the only thing it hasn't faced, and it would survive that too.