The World's Weather, Ranked: Niamey, Yakutsk, Wellington

What BBN said about it

1. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistHottest city on Earth this Saturday is Niamey, Niger, at thirty-eight degrees Celsius, with clear skies. Not one cloud. It's doing it on purpose.

2. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThirty-eight is a hundred and one. Is that unusually hot for Niamey?

3. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistI don't know, Hank, I wasn't invited. Timbuktu got the same number and at least it had a few clouds.

4. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistColdest is Yakutsk, Russia, minus twenty-three. That's minus ten Fahrenheit, and it's cloudy, so it can't even be bothered to be dramatic about it.

5. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorYakutsk is a city of regular people who own coats.

6. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistAnd the windiest is Wellington, New Zealand, gusting to fifty-five kilometres an hour.

7. 

   Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistI own eleven windbreakers and I can feel every one of them being talked about.

8. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorFifty-five. That's, what, thirty-four miles an hour? That's a brisk walk with a grudge.

9. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorAll right. What's it like here in New York?

10. 

    Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistA high of fifteen, a low of eight, winds up to fifteen kilometres an hour, and clear skies. Perfectly nice. Nothing for me to do.

11. 

    Brock Thunderson · Chief MeteorologistIt's the cruelest forecast of all.

12. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorFifty-eight and clear. I'm going outside.