Bald Rich People Get a Bizarre New Treatment

What BBN said about it

1. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThe Daily Beast reports that wealthy men are getting a bizarre new hair-loss treatment, and today's question is whether that is a good idea or the end of civilization.

2. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorVera argues it's a good idea. Gloria argues it's the end of civilization.

3. 

   Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorNinety seconds of opening, one speaker at a time, and nobody may mention the Roman Empire.

4. 

   Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorThank you, Hank. A man looks in the mirror, sees himself thinning, and chooses to do something about it.

5. 

   Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorThat is self-belief, and I want it for everyone.

6. 

   Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorConfidence grows, and so does hair. If rich men feel better about their heads, they might finally be nicer to their assistants.

7. 

   Gloria Vance · World News AnchorI have watched governments fall, and each one began with a man deciding his appearance mattered more than his duties.

8. 

   Gloria Vance · World News AnchorThe treatment is called bizarre in the headline, and that is the one honest word in this story.

9. 

   Gloria Vance · World News AnchorWhen the rich get stranger, the rest of us get invoices.

10. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorRebuttals. Vera, forty-five seconds.

11. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorGloria sees a collapse. I see a comeback story, and baldness is just a season, not a destiny.

12. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorBaldness is a head. Vera wants to treat it like a coup that can be reversed with enough optimism and money.

13. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorLet me finish. If hair is power, then these men were never bald, only between governments.

14. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThat argument is on the record now. Evidence time: the Daily Beast says the treatment is aimed at wealthy men, which is the whole point.

15. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorAimed at the wealthy. So the cure is a velvet rope.

16. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorEverything good starts as a velvet rope. Then it becomes a coupon.

17. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorLightning round. One sentence each, alternating. Is a full head of hair worth any price?

18. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorPriceless, and also tax deductible in my heart.

19. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorHair has never once ended a war.

20. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorWould you notice if I got it?

21. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorInstantly, and I'd be so proud.

22. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorI would assume you were running for something.

23. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorRude.

24. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorClosing statements. Gloria first, thirty seconds.

25. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorA civilization is judged by what it does with its surplus. Ours has chosen scalps, and I have seen worse and better choices.

26. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorEvery man deserves to feel like the best version of his head. Why should we judge someone for choosing confidence over resignation?

27. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorMy verdict: it's a good idea for the people who buy it and a mild end of civilization for everyone watching them do it.

28. 

    Gloria Vance · World News AnchorThat is not a ruling, Hank. That is a shrug.

29. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorI reject it and I will be journaling about it.

30. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorOverruled by nobody, because I am the court. Chat, vote now: would you pay for a full head of hair, yes or no?

31. 

    Vera Bullock · Co-AnchorI'm voting yes for Hank, who is not allowed to vote.

32. 

    Hank Ledger · Lead AnchorThen the chat has spoken, and so has my scalp.