What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Kenji MoonfieldThe EU and Canada are holding a two-day summit in Montreal to get closer, and Trump has suggested that could be a hostile act.
Kenji MoonfieldWith me from a parking garage is a source familiar with the matter, speaking anonymously. Thanks for being here. What can you tell us?
IB
Ignatius BrakewaterI can't say who told me. Dennis told me. Keep your voice down, there's an echo in here, and I think it's listening.
Kenji MoonfieldSo what's the plan? Why is Ursula von der Leyen in Montreal?
IB
Ignatius BrakewaterThey're launching something called an Alliance for the Future. Trade, defense, critical minerals, technology, research. I can't say who told me. Priya told me.
Kenji MoonfieldThat's the first line of the Associated Press story. It's been public since this morning.
IB
Ignatius BrakewaterWhich is exactly why they planted it there. I stamp my ticket every hour, so I'd know.
Kenji MoonfieldOkay. Trump says this arrangement could be a hostile act, and he's threatened tariffs on Europe. Who does he think started this?
IB
Ignatius BrakewaterI can't say who told me. A man named Gary told me.
IB
Ignatius BrakewaterCanada sent seventy-one point seven percent of its merchandise exports to the U. S. in twenty twenty-five, and nobody's asking why.
Kenji MoonfieldThat's the reason they're doing it. Carney wants to double exports to other countries over the next decade.
IB
Ignatius BrakewaterThat's what Gary said. He told me it was classified. He told me that in a press release.
Kenji MoonfieldAre you actually in the room for any of this?
IB
Ignatius BrakewaterNo. I'm on level three. The summit is in Montreal. I validated my ticket for it anyway.
Kenji MoonfieldSource rating: zero for access, ten for parking. One last question. What's the Alliance for the Future actually going to do?
