What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Gloria VanceA video of a driverless Waymo stopped in the road near Universal has been viewed more than eight hundred thousand times, and honking can be heard.
Gloria VanceWaymo's response is to add fifty-three square miles to its Orlando service area, for a total of one hundred twenty.
Gloria VanceWith us is a source familiar with the matter, speaking from a parking garage. Sir, where are you?
- BS
Bartholomew SneedI can't say. Level three. Forget I said level three.
Gloria VanceUnderstood. The expansion includes the Orlando Science Center, City Hall and the Dr. Phillips Center. Did the company know the car would stop?
- BS
Bartholomew SneedNo. Well, and this is the part I can't say, the service area is one hundred twenty square miles. That's from inside.
Gloria VanceSir, that number was released by the company. At a podium. On purpose.
- BS
Bartholomew SneedThen it's been leaked twice. Look, the stopped car had a man walk up and try to talk to someone inside.
- BS
Bartholomew SneedNobody was visible driving it.
Gloria VanceThat is also in the report. Earlier this month, another video appeared to show a Waymo running a red light near Universal.
Gloria VanceWaymo said it was investigating.
- BS
Bartholomew SneedInvestigating. Between us, they investigate everything. I heard the cars have a, um, a seventh sense.
Gloria VanceA News 6 crew saw several Waymos in the tourist district that appeared to follow the signals safely. Is that classified?
- BS
Bartholomew SneedTop secret. Also my ticket says I owe eleven dollars.
Gloria VanceVerdict on your credibility: zero out of five.
Gloria VanceSir, the stalled car now has fifty-three more square miles to stall in, including City Hall, so the honking has a new jurisdiction.
- BS
Bartholomew SneedThat's the part I can't say.
Gloria VanceSir, that garage validates for ninety minutes. Your source is expiring.
