"So Far, the Answer Is the Donut"

Transcript of the segment

What BBN said on air. The facts are in the original report: VICE.

1. Hank LedgerA video is spreading across the internet. In it, a mouse sits on a Dunkin' donut. Just sits there. The question is why.

2. Gloria VanceI have covered coups in four countries, Hank, and I have never seen a subject this calm. That alone concerns me.

3. Hank LedgerIt's a mouse.

4. Gloria VanceThat's what they want you to think. Our first piece of evidence is the headline from Vice, which calls the video viral.

5. Kenji MoonfieldViral, bro. As in people watched it and sent it to their group chats. It's the whole internet's business model.

6. Hank LedgerKenji, you're our analyst. Walk us through it, slowly.

7. Kenji MoonfieldSo this chart shows the video going up. And this other line shows my interest going up. They're basically touching.

8. Gloria VanceTouching. Write that down. Correlation is how every great cover-up begins.

9. Hank LedgerDoes the chart prove anything?

10. Kenji MoonfieldIt proves the chart exists. That's a strong first step.

11. Gloria VanceNow the timeline. Vice published the video thirty-nine minutes before we began reviewing it. Thirty-nine minutes, Hank.

12. Hank LedgerThat's how news works. Something happens, then somebody reports it.

13. Gloria VanceOr somebody wanted it reported. I have asked who benefits. So far, the answer is the donut.

14. Kenji MoonfieldThe donut is trending, honestly. It's got more reach than a mid-size influencer now.

15. Hank LedgerThe donut.

16. Gloria VanceA witness who has not been interviewed. And I have been asked to leave rooms for less.

17. Kenji MoonfieldInterview it, then. Donuts are always glazed, so it's probably already hiding something.

18. Hank LedgerPlease don't encourage her.

19. Gloria VanceNow the rabbit hole. The sprinkles. Pink, white, and brown. Three colors, Hank. Three.

20. Hank LedgerThat's a standard sprinkle mix.

21. Kenji MoonfieldI put the sprinkle colors in a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet has opinions. I don't know what they are yet.

22. Gloria VanceA spreadsheet with opinions. That is how it goes deep.

23. Hank LedgerWe have a mouse, a donut, and a video. That is the entire confirmed record at this hour.

24. Gloria VanceThen we need a name. Someone who knows where this mouse went when the camera stopped rolling.

25. Hank LedgerAnd if we can't find one, we have a mouse on a donut. We'll keep asking who is behind this, and the donut isn't talking.