Loch Ness Sightings Double: Source in a Parking Garage Confirms

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockHi! It's Vera, and this is going to be a good one!

2. 

   Vera BullockLoch Ness Monster sightings have more than doubled since last year, and I have a source in a parking garage who will explain why.

3. WA

   Wendeline AbaraI can confirm that sightings went up. I'm calling from a garage, so I can't say where, or what level.

4. 

   Vera BullockThe Daily Grail counts fifteen for twenty twenty-six, against last year's smaller total. What's your read on the number?

5. WA

   Wendeline AbaraI can confirm it's fifteen. Fifteen is a lot. I can confirm that fifteen is more than fourteen.

6. 

   Vera BullockTo be clear, that's a thriving year.

7. 

   Vera BullockThe Official Loch Ness Monster Sightings Register had ten by July thirty-first, so this is a monster with momentum.

8. WA

   Wendeline AbaraI can confirm the momentum. Ten by July, then five more. I can confirm that's how counting works.

9. 

   Vera BullockOne sighting came from a nine-year-old Australian on a cruise boat, who saw the head of a creature in the water.

10. WA

    Wendeline AbaraI can confirm there was a head. I can confirm it was on a creature. Both of those were in your question.

11. 

    Vera BullockFair. But a register spokesperson said of one July photo, quote, they say there was nothing above the water. Is that a sighting?

12. WA

    Wendeline AbaraI can confirm that's a sighting of water. Sorry, a man just walked past my car. I'm not saying it was the monster.

13. 

    Vera BullockSir, that's the attendant.

14. 

    Vera BullockLet me put it in press-office terms. This is an unprecedented engagement year for a creature with no marketing budget. Does the source agree?

15. WA

    Wendeline AbaraI can confirm I agree. I can also confirm I'm in a two-hour spot, and it's been three.