Freeze Watch: "The First Hour Is the Coat" at $4,000

Transcript of the segment

What BBN said on air. The facts are in the original report: Colorado Public Radio.

1. Gloria VanceThe National Weather Service has issued the first freeze watch and winter weather advisory of the season, which affects travel, plants and daily planning for a lot of Americans.

2. Gloria VanceWith me is Wendell Stroud, managing partner at Stroud Gable Advisory Group, who bills four thousand dollars an hour to explain things.

3. Gloria VanceMr. Stroud, what should people do?

4. Wendell Abernathy StroudOn a preliminary read, Gloria, it is getting colder. We call that the Cold Curve, and we are very early on it.

5. Gloria VanceThe Weather Service said that this afternoon, and it did not send an invoice. What is the advice?

6. Wendell Abernathy StroudAdvice is a strong word.

7. Wendell Abernathy StroudOn a preliminary read, we recommend a layered approach to the outdoors. I am holding a pilot program right now.

8. Gloria VanceIs the pilot program a mug?

9. Wendell Abernathy StroudIt is a heated mug. On a preliminary read, my hands are warm, which I would call encouraging.

10. Gloria VanceI once sat through a sanctions briefing with better catering and fewer obvious findings. Plants, Mr. Stroud. What about the plants?

11. Wendell Abernathy StroudOn a preliminary read, a freeze is bad for plants that dislike freezing. We would phase in covering them over six months.

12. Gloria VanceSix months. The freeze is tonight.

13. Wendell Abernathy StroudThen we accelerate. On a preliminary read, that is a coat. A coat, and I would call it a strategic one.

14. Gloria VanceSo your advice, for four thousand dollars an hour, is one word: coat.

15. Wendell Abernathy StroudThat will be four thousand dollars, Gloria. The first hour is the coat.

16. Gloria VanceThe Weather Service gave it away for free, and I would like that on the record.