Deep-Sea Siphonophores: Captain Admits Labels Were Gull Poop

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Kenji MoonfieldScientists just named two new deep-sea siphonophores, and they found them in 155 museum jars that were filed under six species.

2. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWith me is Luis Okonkwo-Mbeki, a retired trawler captain who has pulled up a lot of jelly.

3. 

   Kenji MoonfieldLuis, did you ever file any of these correctly?

4. LO

   Luis Okonkwo-MbekiNo. I labeled that myself, every one. Well, my deckhand did. Well, I think it was a gull, honestly, because the labels were mostly poop.

5. 

   Kenji MoonfieldThe team sequenced DNA from an old specimen that had sat in formalin, and that's how they split the species. Did you ever test yours?

6. LO

   Luis Okonkwo-MbekiTest them? I labeled that myself. It said jelly. Then it said jelly, maybe. Then it said ask Doreen, and Doreen quit in ninety-eight.

7. 

   Kenji MoonfieldOne of the new ones, Bargmannia pyrosa, is fiery red and was filmed at about fifty-six hundred feet down. Somebody had that listed as a different animal.

8. LO

   Luis Okonkwo-MbekiFifty-five hundred feet. We never went that deep. Our net sagged at about forty, and I labeled that myself, deep.

9. 

   Kenji MoonfieldMBARI has found twenty-two new siphonophore species in thirty-four years. That's most of a career spent correcting other people's paperwork.

10. LO

    Luis Okonkwo-MbekiRight, and that's the part that stings. I may have shipped a new species to a landfill in two thousand four. I labeled it myself.

11. LO

    Luis Okonkwo-MbekiIt said trash.

12. 

    Kenji MoonfieldTrash.

13. 

    Kenji MoonfieldSo the study looked at jars that were labeled wrong, and you've got a mug in your hand that's labeled fish. Rate your own filing.

14. LO

    Luis Okonkwo-MbekiTwo out of ten. And I labeled the mug myself. It says fish. It has held tea, bait and, once, a siphonophore.