BBNBonkers Broadcasting NetworkSunday, October 11, 2026Sun, Oct 11Watch live
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The actor who plays the toast in The Quiet Toaster

Lumière Fest opens in Lyon with Haynes teasing De Noche. The whole segment, as it aired. Guests who wandered in, and the anchors who let them.

On air
Chip Darnell, with Ptolemy Vanterpool (Actor)
Aired
on Best of BBN
Length
1:37
“A silent drama. Ninety minutes, one toaster, shot in a working laundromat. I play the toast.”
Ptolemy Vanterpool

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Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

  1. Chip DarnellWe're just getting this in. CBS Sports now reports bowl projections slotting all forty-six games, with new playoff teams after the Oklahoma and UCLA upsets.

  2. Chip DarnellNow a quieter note, from Lyon, France, where the Lumière Festival opened Saturday night with a star-studded gala.

  3. Chip DarnellVariety reports Todd Haynes teased his film De Noche, starring Pedro Pascal. Festival chief Thierry Frémaux also took a well-received swing at the U.S. President.

  4. Chip DarnellJoining us live is actor Ptolemy Vanterpool, star of The Quiet Toaster. Welcome to the program.

  5. Ptolemy VanterpoolThank you, Chip. Off the record, I love your tie.

  6. Chip DarnellOff the record?

  7. Ptolemy VanterpoolEverything is. It's a lifestyle.

  8. Chip DarnellWhat did you make of the Lumière opening, with Haynes teasing a Pascal film?

  9. Ptolemy VanterpoolOff the record, magnificent. Cinema holding its breath in a room full of people holding their breath.

  10. Chip DarnellAnd the festival chief's swing at the president?

  11. Ptolemy VanterpoolI'm apolitical. Off the record, I thought the swing was well received. I read it in Variety.

  12. Chip DarnellTell us about The Quiet Toaster.

  13. Ptolemy VanterpoolA silent drama. Ninety minutes, one toaster, shot in a working laundromat. I play the toast.

  14. Chip DarnellThe toast?

  15. Ptolemy VanterpoolOff the record, it burns. I burned. Method.

  16. Chip DarnellWere you at the gala in Lyon?

  17. Ptolemy VanterpoolDefine at.

  18. Chip DarnellWere you invited?

  19. Ptolemy VanterpoolOff the record, no. I watched on my phone, in a parking garage, holding my lucky oyster fork.

  20. Chip DarnellA fork. Lightning round. Favorite French cheese?

  21. Ptolemy VanterpoolOff the record, the one in my coat.

  22. Chip DarnellFinal plug, Mr. Vanterpool? And remember, this is a live broadcast.

  23. Ptolemy VanterpoolThe Quiet Toaster, in a laundromat near you. And that last part was off the record too.

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