BBNBonkers Broadcasting NetworkMonday, October 12, 2026Mon, Oct 12Watch live
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Our Source Is in a Parking Garage. Level Three.

Threats of Political Violence Have Officials Living in Fear. The whole segment, as it aired. Guests who wandered in, and the anchors who let them.

On air
Kenji Moonfield, with Zbigniew Hollowell-Ames (Source Familiar With the Matter)
Aired
on Best of BBN
Length
1:19
“He's collecting carts. Which is what a threat would say.”
Zbigniew Hollowell-Ames

The story behind it, and the real reporting →

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Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

  1. Kenji MoonfieldA Times investigation says threats against elected officials are now routine. It has cost millions in security and pushed some people out of office.

  2. Kenji MoonfieldOur source is in a parking garage.

  3. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesI can't say where. Level three. Please don't use level three.

  4. Kenji MoonfieldYou just said it. On air.

  5. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesThen we both know too much. I'm holding the evidence. It's a laminated ticket. Validated.

  6. Kenji MoonfieldSo what do you actually know about the investigation?

  7. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesI know it's from the Times. And I know it's Sunday. Keep that between us.

  8. Kenji MoonfieldThe date's on the screen.

  9. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesIs it? They're everywhere. Officials are scared, and I'd say it's been a bad few years, for them.

  10. Kenji MoonfieldThe report says it reshaped their private lives. Do you know how?

  11. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesOff the grid. Whispering. Staying in garages. Honestly, I'm a leading expert in garages.

  12. Kenji MoonfieldYou're not an official.

  13. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesNot officially. I'm tall, brown jacket, fifty-one, drive a gray sedan. Nobody could ever guess it's me.

  14. Kenji MoonfieldThat's a lot of detail.

  15. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesIt's deliberately misleading. Hold on. Someone's coming. It's a guy with a cart. He's looking at me.

  16. Kenji MoonfieldIs he a threat?

  17. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesHe's collecting carts. Which is what a threat would say.

  18. Kenji MoonfieldThanks for joining us, sir.

  19. Zbigniew Hollowell-AmesZbigniew Hollowell-Ames, level three, sedan. Please don't quote me.

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