McDonald's McRib Lawsuit: Senator Claims Credit, In Pencil

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Gloria VanceA federal judge in Chicago has ruled that McDonald's must face a proposed class action over the McRib, and one senator wants a word on it.

2. 

   Gloria VanceSenator Tobias Wexcombe of New Calloway joins us. Senator, did you have a hand in this ruling?

3. TW

   Tobias WexcombeGloria, as I told the committee, I have been warning about this sandwich for years.

4. TW

   Tobias WexcombeThis ruling is the fruit of my labor, and I keep a photo of me with a McRib from nineteen ninety-three.

5. 

   Gloria VanceThe suit was filed in December by four consumers. Judge April Perry refused to dismiss the fraud and unjust enrichment claims.

6. 

   Gloria VanceWere any of them your constituents?

7. TW

   Tobias WexcombeEvery one of them, in spirit. As I told the committee on a Tuesday in the spring, I met all four in a parking lot.

8. TW

   Tobias WexcombeThe meeting was brief.

9. 

   Gloria VanceMeet them how?

10. TW

    Tobias WexcombeAs I told the committee, it was a Wendy's lot, I think. I wrote the labeling bill that protects them. Personally. In pencil.

11. 

    Gloria VanceYour office voted against that bill last spring. I'm asking again. Did you write it?

12. TW

    Tobias WexcombeI voted against the earlier draft, which was weak.

13. TW

    Tobias WexcombeAs I told the committee, I then wrote the strong one, and the staff who say otherwise are the staff who lost it. Ask them for the photo.

14. 

    Gloria VanceMcDonald's says the McRib is one hundred percent pork from American farms and contains no heart, tripe or stomach. It calls the claims meritless.

15. 

    Gloria VanceThe lawsuit alleges otherwise.

16. TW

    Tobias WexcombeThen the sandwich is on trial and I am its prosecutor, though the company has always been a friend of my district. Mostly.