Patrick Stewart's Wig: The Audition Hire That Got No Credit

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Hank LedgerPatrick Stewart wore a wig to auditions but not to social occasions, according to the Belgravia Centre, and his memoir describes the road from that insecurity to self-acceptance.

2. 

   Vera BullockMy take: the wig was a brilliant bit of pre-launch positioning.

3. 

   Vera BullockIt tested the market, the market said no, and we are calling that a soft launch of the scalp.

4. 

   Hank LedgerNOT. Nobody tests a market with a wig.

5. 

   Dale BearmanMy take: he took a bricklayer job at seventeen, AOL says, to stop the hair loss. So the wall's still standing and the hair isn't.

6. 

   Dale BearmanPoor return on bricks.

7. 

   Hank LedgerHOT. Bricks were a bold choice.

8. 

   Vera BullockNot? Hank, the wig tried. It went to every audition and took the rejection so the head didn't have to.

9. 

   Dale BearmanIt was the body double, Vera. For a hat.

10. 

    Hank LedgerFine, split it. Vera's is NOT, Dale's is HOT, and I'm giving my own take now.

11. 

    Hank LedgerThe wig got to every audition and never got a single credit. Some of us know how that feels.