Man United 16th After Chelsea Loss: The Review Beat the Manager

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Chip DarnellManchester United lost two-nil at Chelsea, and Gulf News says that leaves them sixteenth, one point above the relegation zone, with seven points from nine games.

2. 

   Chip DarnellGulf News adds it's nine games without a win in all competitions, the worst run since nineteen eighty-eight. Dale, Kenji, hot takes. Dale first.

3. 

   Dale BearmanSky Sports says Carrick dropped Bruno Fernandes for criticising his tactics, then reinstated him. The tactics lost at Chelsea.

4. 

   Dale BearmanThe criticism is the only thing on that team that's been proven right.

5. 

   Chip DarnellHOT. The review outperformed the manager.

6. 

   Kenji MoonfieldGoal reports Carrick was asked about a stigma around the bottom three and said, "Not from me, no."

7. 

   Kenji MoonfieldThat's a man who's muted the group chat about it.

8. 

   Dale BearmanMuted.

9. 

   Chip DarnellNOT. Nobody mutes the table. Final take: Bruno should get the clipboard, and Carrick should be reinstated as a supporter.

10. 

    Kenji MoonfieldSo the review gets a second season, and Carrick gets the group chat he already muted.