Lost pet guide, starring a dog who is not lost

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockWorthington, Minnesota's Globe newspaper published a pet loss guide covering search locations, emergency contacts, and initial steps to take.

2. 

   Kenji MoonfieldStep one is not losing the pet. Step two is us watching a dog that is not lost.

3. 

   Kenji MoonfieldThis is file footage from the archive, not the Worthington dog. Roll it.

4. 

   Kenji MoonfieldLook at this. Brown dog, concrete patio, palm trees behind him. He's standing there like he pays the mortgage.

5. 

   Vera BullockHe's looking right at us.

6. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWatch the stare here. Straight into the lens. Not lost. Never lost. He's the one searching for us.

7. 

   Vera BullockAnd there, he turns away. Rude.

8. 

   Kenji MoonfieldRun it back. He's leaving the frame, Vera. That's a runner.

9. 

   Vera BullockViral Score: seven out of ten. He stayed put, which is the whole guide.