The telestrator doesn't lie. It's a lawn chair.

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyThe 49ers, four and oh, visit the Seahawks, three and one, at four twenty-five Eastern on Fox at Lumen Field.

2. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyJoining me from his garage is Mordecai Szymanski, eleven seasons a long snapper, and the man who has seen every snap he never took!

3. MS

   Mordecai SzymanskiRex, great to be here, I've got the telestrator warmed up, and the telestrator doesn't lie.

4. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyThe duel is Brock Purdy against Sam Darnold! Purdy is seventy-nine of one hundred thirteen for one thousand seven yards, eleven touchdowns and one pick!

5. MS

   Mordecai SzymanskiSee this circle? That's Purdy's eyes. Quarterbacks live and die by the eyes.

6. MS

   Mordecai SzymanskiMine went at my second knee surgery, and a certain coach knows why.

7. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyDarnold has completed forty-five of sixty-nine attempts for five hundred sixty yards with six touchdowns and three picks. Break it down for me!

8. MS

   Mordecai SzymanskiThree picks tells you everything. Three. I once snapped a ball over a punter's head in Cleveland, and I think about it every day.

9. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyMordecai, this is the film room, not a therapy room!

10. MS

    Mordecai SzymanskiThe telestrator doesn't lie, Rex. And there's the zone blitz, right there, the sandwich.

11. 

    Rex "Two-Point" GridleyThat's a lawn chair.

12. MS

    Mordecai SzymanskiIt's a lawn chair with intent.

13. 

    Rex "Two-Point" GridleyPin it down for me! Purdy has a thousand seven yards to Darnold's five sixty. Does that gap decide this game?

14. MS

    Mordecai SzymanskiA thousand is a lot.

15. MS

    Mordecai SzymanskiI never had a thousand of anything except sore mornings, which is a number I can feel in the left knee.

16. 

    Rex "Two-Point" GridleyNow the Seahawks! Jaxon Smith-Njigba has thirty-two catches and six touchdowns. What does Seattle do with that?

17. MS

    Mordecai SzymanskiSeattle has to lean on him. See the dog I drew? That's Seattle, hungry and loyal and, frankly, a little bit of a mess.