Dorset Pufferfish Mistaken for a Buoy: Governor Puffs Up
Diver mistakes object on Dorset beach for a buoy; it's a pufferfish. The whole segment, as it aired. Guests who wandered in, and the anchors who let them.
On air
Kenji Moonfield, with Governor Ignatius Vandersloot (Governor)
Aired
on BBN After Hours
Length
1:17
“I am the largest predator deterrent this state has ever had. Predators see me and swim to Dorset.”
What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Kenji MoonfieldA diver in Dorset spotted something on Knoll Beach and took it for a small marker buoy. It was a seventeen-inch pufferfish, fully inflated.
Kenji MoonfieldGovernor Vandersloot, you run a coastline. Dorset Wildlife Trust says these fish turn up in the UK rarely. Is this a surprise to you?
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootNo. Let me inflate on that.
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootI predicted this fish. The memo says, quote, expect a fish. My coastal leadership delivered a fish, on time.
Kenji MoonfieldThe fish is thought to have been blown off course by Storm Austen and Storm Boelo. Did you cause the storms?
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootI did not cause the storms. I did, however, manage them, and the fish is a success story.
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootThe failure is the beach, which has been unresponsive.
Kenji MoonfieldThe beach is in Dorset, Governor. You're from North Marrowby.
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootLet me inflate on that.
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootThe fish is thought of as a regional asset, and my brass whistle here has been in the family since before the storms.
Kenji MoonfieldSo you're claiming the fish. The notes say it puffs up to deter predators. You've puffed up three times in ninety seconds.
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootThat is a smear. Let me inflate on that.
GI
Governor Ignatius VanderslootI am the largest predator deterrent this state has ever had. Predators see me and swim to Dorset.
Governor Ignatius VanderslootWell, the whistle speaks for itself. And the budget was restructured, which is a kind of growth, and the fish agrees with me.
Kenji MoonfieldGovernor, the fish was found fully inflated on the sand. Nobody would touch it, and nobody's touching you either.
