What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Kenji MoonfieldA 68-year-old Brooklyn bar owner just out-talked Conan O'Brien on a subway, and she says she doesn't know who he is.
Kenji MoonfieldWith us is Senator Barnaby Oyelaran of the Third Reclamation District of Upper Marsh Valley. Senator, you've said you're responsible for this. How?
- SB
Senator Barnaby OyelaranYes, I coached that exchange, and my office has put out four press releases about it already. Five, counting this sentence.
Kenji MoonfieldBut did you meet her? She told The New York Times she owns a bar and doesn't know Conan O'Brien.
- SB
Senator Barnaby OyelaranNo, and that's the genius of my coaching. Six releases now.
- SB
Senator Barnaby OyelaranShe was a natural because I stayed out of it, which is a leadership style.
Kenji MoonfieldShe says she was transferring trains when her best friend pointed him out, and she walked over as a fan.
- SB
Senator Barnaby OyelaranWhich my transit policy made possible. Trains, transferring, all mine. That's seven releases, and I'm drafting an eighth.
Kenji MoonfieldSo is that a yes on writing her joke? She told him his pictures were everywhere in the house, and he laughed fully.
- SB
Senator Barnaby OyelaranI wrote it, yes. Pictures everywhere, my line. My own house has one framed picture of me, shaking hands with a mailbox.
Kenji MoonfieldA mailbox.
- SB
Senator Barnaby OyelaranIt was a very warm mailbox. Nine releases. And Conan apologized to her for blocking a seat, which was my idea of manners.
Kenji MoonfieldHe also said he'd do a sitcom with her, open a restaurant, or tour. Senator, that's the offer. Nobody's offered you a tour.
- SB
Senator Barnaby OyelaranI've been offered a ribbon cutting, and I'd call that a tour. Ten releases, and I take full credit for the sitcom pitch.
Kenji MoonfieldCredit's the one thing she doesn't need from you.
