What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Kenji MoonfieldBayern's coach says the club planned the Arsenal game with only four attacking players, and then put a left-back on the left wing.
Kenji MoonfieldJoining us is Ignatius Brauweiler, sporting director of FC Ostmark Rovers, who knows a thing or two about building a squad.
Kenji MoonfieldIgnatius, is four attackers a plan?
- IB
Ignatius BrauweilerYes. On paper, four attackers is a very efficient number, because you only have to learn four names.
Kenji MoonfieldKompany says Olise was suspended, Musiala was out and Díaz was a doubt. So the four turned into about one.
- IB
Ignatius BrauweilerNo, and here is why. On paper, a doubt still counts as a player. We counted him. We just didn't ask him.
Kenji MoonfieldKompany said the club had enough defenders at the moment, which is why Alphonso Davies played in attack. That's a very specific kind of enough.
- IB
Ignatius BrauweilerIt's a surplus, Kenji.
- IB
Ignatius BrauweilerOn paper, defenders are the one thing you can never have too many of, so you send the extras up the pitch.
Kenji MoonfieldBayern drew two-two. Díaz scored a hat-trick against Leipzig and started on the bench. Is that also on paper?
- IB
Ignatius BrauweilerEspecially on paper. A man who scores three is a man you save for later. It's the same logic as saving the good cheese.
Kenji MoonfieldKompany's quote was, we knew a moment like this would come at some point, and we used it. They knew.
Kenji MoonfieldThat's the part I keep stuck on.
- IB
Ignatius BrauweilerExactly! You can't be surprised by a thing you scheduled. On paper we scheduled all of it.
Kenji MoonfieldClip it. Last question. When you run out of defenders too, who plays winger?
- IB
Ignatius BrauweilerOn paper, the goalkeeper. Then we need a new goalkeeper, and a left-back is free.
