FIFA's Infantino Apologizes: A Gift Card With No Store

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Chip DarnellThis just in from Japan Today: FIFA president Gianni Infantino apologized to the ruling council Thursday for mistakes in his secretive World Cup investment plan, but gave his toughest critics no details.

2. 

   Vera BullockHot take: an apology with no details is a gift card with no store. It's the thought that counts, and he thought about it.

3. 

   Chip DarnellNOT. Every gift card has a store, Vera, usually next to a mattress outlet.

4. 

   Hank LedgerHot take: the plan was so secretive that the mistakes are the only part anyone has seen.

5. 

   Chip DarnellHOT! The mistakes are the most transparent thing in the building.

6. 

   Vera BullockPlural, even.

7. 

   Chip DarnellMy final take is the hottest: the apology is the secret plan, and nobody has been told what it does.

8. 

   Hank LedgerRex, what does the Gridiron have, and is it itemized?