Runaway Goat Finds Love and a Forever Home: Renter Is Jealous

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Kenji MoonfieldABC News says a runaway goat on the lam has found love and a forever home.

2. 

   Dale BearmanA goat escapes, finds romance, and gets a house. I have been renting since two years ago and nobody threw me a parade.

3. 

   Kenji MoonfieldThis is file footage, not the actual goat, but look at this: the dark one is up on his hind legs, eating right out of a palm.

4. 

   Dale BearmanSmooth.

5. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWatch this: mouth opens, snack lands, and then he walks back to the fence like he's checking the reviews. That is elite.

6. 

   Dale BearmanRun it back. I only want to see the dark one again, purely for research.

7. 

   Kenji MoonfieldComing up later, the first new sauce in ten years: who is skeptical?

8. 

   Kenji MoonfieldViral Score, eight, because the dark goat chewed with his mouth open and still got a second helping.