Stallone's Stunt Regrets: Safety Officer's Cast Is a Prop

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockSylvester Stallone told Fox News Digital he has millions, millions of regrets about doing his own stunts, and that he's an idiot for it.

2. 

   Vera BullockJoining us is Mavis Okonkwo-Reyes, chief safety officer of the Granite Ledge Stunt Guild. Mavis, is he an idiot?

3. MO

   Mavis Okonkwo-ReyesStrictly speaking, he's a pioneer. Our members are trained to fall safely, usually from no more than a four-story building, and always onto something.

4. 

   Vera BullockFour stories. And what is the something?

5. MO

   Mavis Okonkwo-ReyesSometimes a mattress. Strictly speaking, once it was a very patient bush. The bush is fine, and so is this cast, which is decorative.

6. 

   Vera BullockDecorative. You've been propping a cast on a crutch against your desk since we went live.

7. MO

   Mavis Okonkwo-ReyesIt's a prop. Strictly speaking, I broke the real one in a meeting about safety, and that's off the record.

8. 

   Vera BullockSo the safety meeting is where you got hurt.

9. MO

   Mavis Okonkwo-ReyesThe chairs have wheels, Vera. Strictly speaking, that's a fall from a seated position into a filing cabinet, and we now ban both.

10. 

    Vera BullockMr. Stallone says he could spend hours listing his regrets. What would your members say, if asked honestly?

11. MO

    Mavis Okonkwo-ReyesStrictly speaking, we offer regrets in bulk now. Buy ten, get a bruise free, and our lawyers have signed every one.

12. 

    Vera BullockBulk regrets.

13. 

    Vera BullockLast question, Mavis. Do you personally regret anything?

14. MO

    Mavis Okonkwo-ReyesNot one thing. I am the picture of safety, and I have never once been...

15. 

    Vera BullockAnd there goes the crutch. Right onto the foot.