Santa Fe College Teaching Zoo Wins Gold; Polar Bear Inspects

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockSanta Fe College's Teaching Zoo has earned gold-standard accreditation from the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the kind of approval a zoo frames and hangs by the front gate.

2. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWe don't have their footage, so this is file footage of a polar bear who clearly passed something. Roll it.

3. 

   Kenji MoonfieldLook at this. The bear is resting behind the dark rock, completely off duty, and now the head pops up over the top. Inspector's here.

4. 

   Vera BullockIt's a bear on a rock. Fine, the head over the rock is a little bit regal.

5. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWatch this. Head goes down over the rock, slow, and that's a ruling. Run it back.

6. 

   Vera BullockGold standard.

7. 

   Vera BullockViral Score, eight out of ten, because it walks toward the camera like it's about to ask for the paperwork.

8. 

   Kenji MoonfieldRosa, Crime Watch is next, so tell us if anybody stole a rock.