Robach and Holmes' Secret Wedding: The Guest Who Dreamed of a Goat

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockAmy Robach and T.J.

2. 

   Vera BullockHolmes married in September at a secret wedding in Arkansas, according to the New York Post, which also reports their former morning show colleagues didn't make the cut.

3. 

   Vera BullockJoining us from a wellness retreat he won't name is intention strategist Zebulon Achterberg. Thanks for being here.

4. 

   Vera BullockWhy would a couple hide a wedding from the people who sat next to them for years?

5. ZA

   Zebulon AchterbergVera, I saw this coming in a dream.

6. ZA

   Zebulon AchterbergThe energy of that couch was always going to split, and the universe simply sent out the invitations it wanted to send.

7. 

   Vera BullockBut the couple actually sent those invitations themselves, not the universe. So what happened?

8. ZA

   Zebulon AchterbergEverything, yes. I saw this coming in a dream where a goat officiated in a barn. Hear that tone? That is the bowl agreeing.

9. 

   Vera BullockA goat.

10. ZA

    Zebulon AchterbergI saw this coming in a dream where I stood outside the barn holding a casserole, and a man named Doug told me the list was full.

11. ZA

    Zebulon AchterbergLook, I'm just calling what I observed. The barn energy spoke for itself.

12. 

    Vera BullockSo you weren't invited, and now you're processing this from a wellness retreat you won't identify. That tracks.

13. ZA

    Zebulon AchterbergI am at a retreat in an undisclosed location, which happens to have a very nice condo.

14. 

    Vera BullockZebulon, were you at the wedding, yes or no?

15. ZA

    Zebulon AchterbergThe bowl says no.