Kristi Noem's Career Twist: Publicist on a Yacht With No Client

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockThe Daily Beast says Kristi Noem's career has taken a weird new twist, and our own reporter couldn't quite pin down what that means.

2. 

   Vera BullockWith us tonight from a yacht off Palm Beach is crisis publicist Sterling Vandermeer. Sterling, what is the twist?

3. SV

   Sterling VandermeerVera, what you are calling a twist is a pre-launch.

4. SV

   Sterling VandermeerPre-launch number one, to be precise. The public simply has not seen the product yet.

5. 

   Vera BullockBut what is the product? The story is about a career change, and you have still not said what changed.

6. SV

   Sterling VandermeerChange is a heavy word. I prefer pre-launch number two, the part where everyone is confused and the market, I mean the public, leans in.

7. 

   Vera BullockNumber two already?

8. SV

   Sterling VandermeerNumber three is the nickname. People call her ICE Barbie, and a lesser publicist would run from that. I would put it on a lanyard.

9. 

   Vera BullockThere was a man in a lanyard outside that government building tonight, and he did not look like he was launching anything.

10. SV

    Sterling VandermeerThat man is the supporting cast of pre-launch number four. Sorry, that was the ship's bell. I get excited.

11. 

    Vera BullockLet me ask you plainly. Have you spoken to Kristi Noem or anyone on her team about any of this?

12. SV

    Sterling VandermeerI speak to the moment, Vera. Pre-launch number five is that I have not been called yet, but I remain available.

13. 

    Vera BullockSo you have no client, no call and a boat.

14. SV

    Sterling VandermeerI have a boat, a bell and a dream. Pre-launch number six, and this one rings.