Hurricane Trudy: Life Coach Says Storms Are Mirrors, Then Floods

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Gloria VanceTrudy is now the latest in what the New York Times calls an unusual hurricane season, and the coast has stopped treating that as a figure of speech.

2. 

   Gloria VanceJoining us from an undisclosed wellness retreat is Yarrow Teague, a certified intention coach. Ms. Teague, what is your reading of this season?

3. YT

   Yarrow TeagueGloria, storms are mirrors. The coast has been thinking very loudly about storms for years, and the water is simply answering.

4. YT

   Yarrow TeagueLet's hold space for that.

5. 

   Gloria VanceSo the people who live there caused it by worrying. Is that your position?

6. YT

   Yarrow TeagueCaused is a heavy word. I say they invited it. Everyone on that shoreline needs a morning routine and a very clear vision board.

7. 

   Gloria VanceA vision board. Against a hurricane.

8. YT

   Yarrow TeagueI roll this jade egg across the table every night, and I believe it's why nothing has reached me. Let's hold space for that, loudly.

9. 

   Gloria VanceWhere exactly is your retreat, Ms. Teague? You said undisclosed, but you also said nothing has reached you.

10. YT

    Yarrow TeagueIt's oceanfront. The ocean and I have an understanding. Let's hold space for the fact that I haven't checked the forecast, because checking is fear.

11. 

    Gloria VanceOceanfront, in this season, with no forecast.

12. YT

    Yarrow TeagueOkay, there's a little water in the lobby. LET'S HOLD SPACE FOR THAT. The egg is rolling, Gloria. It's rolling toward the door.

13. 

    Gloria VanceThank you, Ms. Teague. For the record, the lobby is now holding space for a foot of water.