What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyTyler Shough has thrown for twelve hundred three yards and nine touchdowns for the Saints, and Kyler Murray has four hundred thirty-three yards for Minnesota!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyJoining me from his garage in Tulsa, eleven seasons as a backup long snapper, Octavio Brannigan-Lusk! Octavio, who wins the quarterback duel?
OB
Octavio Brannigan-LuskRex, I was in the building for a lot of quarterback duels, and I can tell you the whole thing starts with the snap, which is me.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyMurray is forty-five of seventy-one with one touchdown and two interceptions! Does that look like a snap problem?
OB
Octavio Brannigan-LuskEverything is a snap problem. I drew it on this laminated depth chart, and my knees are telling me Murray's feet are wrong.
Octavio Brannigan-LuskFeet, Rex. A coach I will not name once told me my feet were the reason I never played, and he was a liar.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyLet's get back to Shough! He is one hundred twenty-one of one hundred eighty with only three interceptions, so how do you stop that?
OB
Octavio Brannigan-LuskYou can't stop it, because somebody is delivering him a perfect ball every time.
OB
Octavio Brannigan-LuskI was in the building for the greatest snap ever, a championship, and nobody thanked the center.
Octavio Brannigan-LuskAttended, yes. Sat very close to the ball.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyPin it down for me, Octavio: nine touchdowns against one for Murray, who owns that number?
OB
Octavio Brannigan-LuskThe center owns every touchdown, Rex. Nine of them are basically nine thank-you notes that never got mailed.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyThen the Vikings must be winning, because Aaron Jones Sr. has two hundred ninety-seven rushing yards and that has nothing to do with the snap!
