What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyAll rise! Court is in session, case number four-zero-one, the people versus the cut-paper crawfish, and I am wearing the wig!
Dr. Nina ByteYour Honor, I'd like it noted for the record that the wig is a mop.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyNoted and ignored!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyThe defendant is charged with littering glitter and jaywalking across the end zone at the Superdome, where the Vikings, four and oh, visit the Saints, one and three, at one on Fox!
Chip DarnellYour Honor, the prosecution says this crawfish sprinkled glitter all over a football field, and I have never been so offended by sparkle in my life!
Dr. Nina ByteObjection to my own client's trial, I mean, no. The defense says that glitter was a welcome gift for a team that needs one.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyA gift!
Dr. Nina ByteAnd the crosswalk was clearly marked. By nobody, but still, it was clearly marked.
Chip DarnellExhibit A!
Chip DarnellTyler Shough has thrown nine touchdowns and three interceptions for twelve hundred and three yards, and somebody had to be crossing that end zone to catch them!
Dr. Nina ByteExhibit B, Your Honor, is the Saints' record, one and three, which proves my client is the only one on that field who showed up to work.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyBring in the surprise witness, a hot dog vendor from section one-twelve!
Chip DarnellSir, did you see glitter on the field? Yes or no, and a free pretzel if it's yes!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyI saw a crawfish cross the end zone against the light, and it winked at me!
Dr. Nina ByteObjection! Leading, hearsay, and the witness is clearly a crustacean sympathizer!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleySustained! Strike it from the record, and strike that man's mustard!
Chip DarnellYour Honor, the Vikings are four and oh, Kyler Murray has four hundred and thirty-three yards, and this crawfish is still out here breaking laws!
