Hurricane Isaias Dog Rescue: The Author Who Covered Every Outcome

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Chip DarnellTwenty-two dogs got out of North Florida before Hurricane Isaias, and they landed in Bradenton at Nate's Honor Animal Rescue late Friday night.

2. 

   Chip DarnellAmbrose Kwiatkowski wrote the book on dogs and storms. Did you see this coming?

3. AK

   Ambrose KwiatkowskiYes. I called it in my second chapter. Dogs flee hurricanes, and rescuers go get them. It's all in there, page forty.

4. 

   Chip DarnellBut your book also says dogs stay put when a storm comes. Chapter nine, I believe.

5. AK

   Ambrose KwiatkowskiCorrect, and I called that in chapter five. You flee, you stay, I'm covered.

6. AK

   Ambrose KwiatkowskiSome of these dogs were on the road for about twenty-four hours.

7. 

   Chip DarnellA few of them came down with what the medical director called a doggie cold. Did your book get that one?

8. AK

   Ambrose KwiatkowskiChapter eleven. The sniffles are a feature, not a bug. Nobody believed me then either.

9. 

   Chip DarnellOne of the dogs is Betty White, a ten-year-old blind lab.

10. 

    Chip DarnellThe medical director says she's an itchy girl with a skin disease and allergies. That's a long drive for a scratch.

11. AK

    Ambrose KwiatkowskiI assume the book's chapter twelve reads, 'A blind dog will not see the storm.' Page one. Bold.

12. 

    Chip DarnellThe medical director says she is healing and on the road to recovery. And a staff member volunteered to drive a van toward the hurricane.

13. 

    Chip DarnellThe trip back hit tornado warnings.

14. AK

    Ambrose KwiatkowskiWhich proves my thesis. I want it noted I was sitting in a pickup truck when it happened.

15. 

    Chip DarnellWhich chapter is the driver in?

16. AK

    Ambrose KwiatkowskiThe driver isn't in the book. Nothing in the book drives toward anything.

17. 

    Chip DarnellThat's a four on the mouth rating, folks: about four insect-mouths of a bite.