Duchess Overboard Star Admits He's Never Seen a Real Tiara

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Gloria VanceJoining us live is Tobias Marchetti, star of the new period drama Duchess Overboard. Tobias, welcome.

2. TM

   Tobias MarchettiThank you, Gloria. It took eleven takes to say hello to you in my head, and I'm thrilled with this one.

3. 

   Gloria VanceFox News reports the Princess of Wales wore Queen Mary's Lover's Knot tiara and a yellow Elie Saab gown to the Oman state banquet at Windsor Castle.

4. 

   Gloria VanceIt was made for Queen Mary in 1914 and was worn before by Princess Diana. Your reaction?

5. TM

   Tobias MarchettiStunning. I can say that as someone who has held a very similar crown. Well, a cushion that held one. Seven takes.

6. 

   Gloria VanceABC News says it's her most frequently worn tiara. Hello Magazine says she has worn only five in public.

7. TM

   Tobias MarchettiFive? That's a very respectable number. I own a velvet cushion and it has never complained once.

8. 

   Gloria VanceOne tiara in heavy rotation, four in reserve. Is that loyalty, or does the jewel box just have five hooks?

9. TM

   Tobias MarchettiLoyalty. Absolutely. In my show, the duchess changes tiaras nightly. Nine takes for the dinner scene alone.

10. 

    Gloria VanceTell us about Duchess Overboard.

11. TM

    Tobias MarchettiIt's about a duchess on a cruise ship who loses her crown in the buffet. I play the sommelier who finds it.

12. 

    Gloria VanceA sommelier. At that banquet the Sultan drank soft drinks, GB News says, while the wine flowed for everyone else.

13. TM

    Tobias MarchettiVery wise. Wine and tiaras don't mix. Thirteen takes on the drunk-crown scene. I'll never forget it.

14. 

    Gloria VanceThe menu included pot-roasted Windsor pheasant and an individual baked Alaska. Would your sommelier approve?

15. TM

    Tobias MarchettiBaked Alaska is hot ice cream. I find that difficult to trust.

16. 

    Gloria VanceLet me ask you plainly. Have you ever seen a real tiara in person?