Avalanche vs. Stars Game 7: The Puck Is Just Angry Soap

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Hank LedgerYahoo Sports says the Colorado Avalanche close out a home-and-home series with the Dallas Stars in Game 7 at Ball Arena, and I need two hot takes, now.

2. 

   Kenji MoonfieldHot take: the puck is just a very small, very angry bar of soap, and Game 7 is twenty guys fighting over who gets to keep washing.

3. 

   Hank LedgerNOT. Nobody has ever won a playground turn with soap.

4. 

   Vera BullockHot take: Game 7 is a family dinner where both teams brought the same casserole, and the Avalanche win because they hosted and refuse to wash the dish.

5. 

   Hank LedgerHOT. Home ice, a dish in the sink. That is a ruling.

6. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWait, you ruled on a casserole?

7. 

   Hank LedgerKenji, a home-and-home is two houses taking turns, and Game 7 is the one turn nobody agreed to share.

8. 

   Hank LedgerMy final take: the winner is whoever has not had a turn yet, which means me, and I have never skated a day in my life.