Gretchen Walsh's Record: Guest's Discount Code Applies to Nothing

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockGretchen Walsh broke the fifty free world record again today, and afterward said yesterday's record meant a lot more.

2. 

   Vera BullockWith us is Tamsin Odegaard, who built a morning routine on it.

3. TO

   Tamsin OdegaardHi Vera! It's the Record Breaker Morning Routine, and with code SPLASH you get thirty percent off the whole thing.

4. 

   Vera BullockSo what is the routine, exactly?

5. TO

   Tamsin OdegaardYou wake at five, you drink a green smoothie, and you hold my pink kickboard for twenty-two point seven five seconds. That's the record time.

6. 

   Vera BullockBut she says today's record meant less. Does your routine cover the lesser record, or only Friday's?

7. TO

   Tamsin OdegaardBoth, and for the lesser one the code is actually forty percent off. I'm very generous with the lesser one.

8. 

   Vera BullockI typed SPLASH into your site and it says the code doesn't exist.

9. TO

   Tamsin OdegaardIt exists. It's fifty percent off, but only on the kickboard, and the kickboard is not for sale.

10. 

    Vera BullockSo the discount applies to nothing.

11. TO

    Tamsin OdegaardSeventy percent off nothing, Vera. Walsh set a record and still thinks the other one was better, so I'm just matching her energy.

12. 

    Vera BullockHave you ever swum a competitive lap yourself?

13. TO

    Tamsin OdegaardI've held the board near water. Ninety percent off, final offer, and that includes the nap.

14. 

    Vera BullockSo the code is real, it just doesn't work on anything, which makes it the only honest item in the routine.

15. 

    Vera BullockBrock's up next with the forecast, and apparently we're looking at precipitation.